Time to get back to my lab and gain what I lost or much
better bloom into something sensible.
My temporary vacation away from any responsibility or hassle
has started and I’m appreciating and savoring every minute of it. Who doesn’t
get happy with the idea of doing nothing? I was probably beaming as I was
writing this. I’ve been in a total whirlwind of emotion lately. I don’t want to
get into details but it was the time when I became anxious and worried about
everything. I’m even questioning myself what am I here for? What am I doing?
And it feels like I became a total stranger to my own self.
I was known for extreme secrecy but I decided to talk it out
to few people and I didn’t regret telling them everything. It was such a relief
knowing that there were people in my life that’s willing to support and spend
time just listening to my feelings. Let me get straight to the point here, I
guess the reason for my big slump is that I was buried with the daily routine of
the “real world” to the point that I slowly lose grip to myself, maybe due to
the lack of time for personal growth. And that brought me here, getting a time
out from everything.
I promise myself that this free time will be spent doing
things I am passionate about, getting
back to myself, while strongly tightening everything inside of me for the next
big adventure. Yes, there will be a challenging adventure ahead of me and I
want to be well prepared for it. Maybe I shouldn’t even call this a vacation but
a rehab. A creative rehab, a rehab on how to be “me” again, a rehab for self-efflorescence.
I’ve come to realize that the best battle we fight
everyday is how to be more of ourselves and not to lose it. Oh dear, I hope you
and I win over this war that we face on our daily life.
“Do not be buried by your routine, your responsibilities, the mundanity of life. I know you are tired, but if there’s one thing you should fight for, it is to never lose yourself.”
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